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28th September 2006 : Dorian Roach Recovering

Our best wishes go out to Dorian Roach who's currently laid up in bed after getting an operation to fix his broken body. He's on his back (sober) for two weeks while the curse is being lifted.

We'd like to congratulate Dr. Ghizlaine Papawalla, the finest surgeon in all of Hispaniola, who conducted the three hour operation using just a smoking feather and a lock of Dorian's armpit hair.

We understand that Dorian will be 100% fit within three months, but now wishes to be referred to as Loretta.