1) Ian Robertson and the malt whisky


On BBC Radio 5 Live, Ian Robertson* recounted this true tale.


When England are in Scotland to play the Calcutta Cup it is always difficult to find somewhere to stay and impossible to book a table in any restaurant. This particular year Ian was entertaining some journalists and former players before the 'Big Match'. He knew of a small place just outside Edinburgh to which he hadn't been for more than 30 years.


On arrival at the pub he was greeted by the owner who said,

'How marvellous to see you again, Mr Robertson. I imagine you have come to pay the 1s/6d [approx. 15 cents] you owe us for the single malt whisky you drank when you were last here and forgot to pay for?'

*Note: Ian Roberston was former Scotland Rugby Union International; BBC Rugby commentator and correspondent. Interestingly Ian was also a former English teacher to Tony Blair at Fettes College, Edinburgh.






2) Perfect Woman Competition in New Zealand


The owner of a bar in Wanaka (NZ) is holding a competition to find the 'Perfect Woman', the prize is $NZ 1,000 and tickets for a New Zealand vs. Australia international.


Amongst the tasks the aspirants will be expected to undertake are:

* back a trailer load of hay
* change a car tyre

* clear a pool table
* darn a sock

* passa spin ball (left and right)
* lift a ram into shearing position

Follow up:

3) Paul Ringer's Unexpected Child


Paul Ringer, Welsh flanker/psycho tells this after dinner story.


Ringer is in a queue at the Supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and is giving him a big 'hello'.


He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although her face is vaguely familiar, Paul can't place where he might know her from, so he says, 'Sorry, do you know me?'


She replies, 'I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children'.


Ringer's mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, 'Blimey!' he says, 'Did we meet after the Aberavon game in Newport?' He continued, 'When I got out of the police station and got back to the hotel room you had gone.'


'No,' she replied, 'I'm your son's English Teacher'


Some Quotes


"The job of Welsh coach is like a minor part in a Quentin Tarantino film: you stagger on, you hallucinate, nobody seems to understand a word you say, you throw up, you get shot. Poor old Kevin Bowring has come up through the coaching structure so he knows what it takes ... 15 more players than Wales have at present." - Mark Reason Total Sport (1996)


"In 1823, William Webb Ellis first picked up the ball in his arms and ran with it. And for the next 156 years forwards have been trying to work out why." - Sir Tasker Watkins (1979)


"Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the center of the city." - Oscar Wilde