It's Not A Sport - taken from George Carlin's book "Napalm & Silly Putty"


Some thought on why some sports aren't really sports by George Carlin. These are his opinions, not mine (well, except for the one about golf, perhaps. Oh yeah, and hunting, definitely hunting).


Soccer - Soccer is not a sport because you can't use your arms. Anything where you can't use your arms can't be a sport. Tap dancing isn't a sport. I rest my case.


Running - Running isn't a sport because anybody can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run! You don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated, do you?


Swimming - Swimming isn't a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense.


Sailing - Sailing isn't a sport. Sailing is a way to get somewhere. Riding the bus ins't a sport, why should sailing be a sport?


Boxing - Boxing is not a sport either. Boxing is a way to beat the crap out of somebody. In spite of what the police tell you, beating the crap out of somebody is not a sport. When police brutality becomes an Olympic event, fine, then boxing can become a sport.


Darts - Darts could have been a sport, because at least there's a chance of putting someone's eye out. But, alas, darts will never be a sport, because the whole object of the game is to reach zero, which goes against all sports logic.


Hunting - You think hunting is a sport? Ask the deer, or better still, give it a gun. The only good thing about hunting is the many fatal accidents involving wealthy businessmen.


Golf - Golf is a game that might possibly be fun, if played alone. But its the vacuous, striving superficial, male-bonding pricks you have to associate with that makes it such a repulsive pastime.